Category Archives: General

General

Newsletter, huzzah!

Hi all,

We thought it would be a good idea to get a newsletter going to keep y’all abreast of developments as Keller, Niles and Slitzky get material together; sort of like a journal. Keller thinks it will confuse everyone more than it helps, but that’s just, like, his opinion… so here we go.

The first single did better than we expected, so we decided to add some staff. The day after we posted the CFO position, we arrived at work in the morning to discover Mortimer Knudson CPA sitting on a milk crate in front of our offices.

For those of you not familiar with poor Mortimer: Keller formerly employed Mr. Knudson as the CFO of Caddywhompus Productions when the company based itself in the thriving metropolis of Easthampton, CT and when it derived most of its revenue from the mysteriously-named Department of Creative Acquisitions. Mr. Knudson’s tenure at Caddywhompus came to an abrupt end when allegations surfaced that he had funneled company funds into and Iran-Contra-like scheme supporting punk musicians in Nicaragua. We also suspect that was him behind the interns’ adverse possession claim on lobby of the building; however, we were never able to find an air-tight paper trail.

Caddywhompus Productions simply vacated the building and left Mortimer and the interns to dispute ownership of the lobby with the building’s owners.

Mortimer was last seen in Iowa purchasing a corn dog while caucusing in support of Rick Santorum in 2012. When spotted he shouted, “ThEy HaTe ChRiStEnDoM!!!” and vanished into the inky shadows of the conference room.

At any rate, we had to hire him back because of a wrongful termination suit that he filed several weeks ago in which he claimed that we are the successor company to Caddywhompus (which technically became an entirely new entity when it entered into the wedding business) and that we are responsible for several years worth of federal income taxes which were not withheld from his pay.

The tax thing is true, of course, but only because of an accounting error by then-CFO, Mortimer Knudson CPA. The judge was unmoved and ordered us to hire him back the moment he resurfaced. His first act as CFO of KellerGlass.com was to make fish stock in the company kitchen.

So, Mortimer is back, the newsletter is up and running, and Keller is working on a new single for next month.

Stay tuned,
The Interns

 

General

KellerGlass re-enters the fray!

After a long absence, and against my better judgement, I have decided to relaunch my blog as kellerglass.com. I know what you’re thinking; the Internet has been a dismal, uninteresting wasteland in my absence.  But, rest assured, dear reader, I am en route with riveting insight and commentary that you just can’t get anywhere else and, once arrived, I fully intend to raise the level of American cultural discourse to soaring new heights with nary a grammatical error or spellign misatke.

In all seriousness, I feel it is important for those of you with little enough time on your hands to actually read this stuff to have access to some semi-reasonable explanation of my motivations:

  • I have my fingers in a lot of pies, as it were, and I’m realizing more and more the value of having a single depository for, say, all the music I release under different groups.
  • I am occasionally struck with an idea that, due to my boyish hyperactivity and vanity, I simply must vent to someone; anyone, really.
  • I am secretly hopeful that one of you, gentle readers, will recognize my obvious genius and offer me a six-figure salaried position as a remote content creator for your innovative and fast-moving company. Tell your friends.

So, what can you expect on this site? A: Every film, piece of music, and lyric I’ve created that I still like enough to share publicly. Also my thoughts on:

  • Music production and technology
  • Bands and music that I think my friends will like and that they probably haven’t heard of
  • Film production, particularly of the DSLR video variety
  • Online and social media marketing

I’m also leaning towards posting some thoughts on politics, though I have some reservations on this subject due to the fact that I’m using my real name, I may need to explain myself at Thanksgiving, and you probably don’t care anyway. We’ll see how brave I’m feeling.

For those of you fortunate enough to be reading this immediately after its launch, you will no doubt notice that the site is not exactly “finished” and that my old site, kellerglass.net, is still live.  Well, I’m working on it, OK! I’ll post updates on this site and my various social media pages regarding improvements and additions as I go.

So, thank you for stopping by, pardon the construction, and stay tuned for more!